Generations

I have been thinking about posting this for a while now and today is the day. I have not posted lately due to the fact I have been working a lot and not had the time. I would like to start off by saying that I love all of my family and I am sorry if I do not have a picture of you to add on my blog. I have a very extended family due to the fact I am adopted and my parents divorced when I was very little so that in itself created a big family. Then you add in the fact I am married now and have that family to include as well it creates a really big birthday list and also makes Christmas very hard to take in on one day because everyone wants to see my daughter. Posting this was a bit of a hard decision because of the way just my family situation is. I didn't want to offend or hurt feelings because I didn't add them but never the less here goes. My grandmother is very sick and I am very glad that she got the chance to meet my daughter even if only for a brief time. So many of my grandparents have passed on and did not get that chance but I still wish they would have.
     Just to save time no names but my father's mother would have loved to meet her she was a character I don't remember much about her. Although I do regret not reading a poem at her funeral that my dad wanted me to read. Now that I think back on that I see it was a mistake not to do that for my father and if I could do it over I would do it differently. I never met my father's father but I do not think that bothers my father because of their history.
     My mother's father is about the same situation I never met him but I don't think that bothers my mother much. I did however get to meet my mother's mother and she was a heavy smoker but had a big heart from what I could tell. She and I lived next to one another for a while in some smaller apartments and I got to know her a little better that way and she as I said had a big heart and loved her grand children.
     My step father's parents on the other hand I saw quite a bit. They loved me even though I was first of all adopted by my mother and then he just kinda picked me up like an extra in the relationship with my mother. His parents accepted me as their own and treated me like family always. Both have since passed away due to cancer and I know they would have loved my daughter and I wish they could have met her. All of my family from grandparents to great grandparents have been just the best and all of them have helped mold everyone around them to be better people. I wish so much that she could have met all of her great grandparents and got to know them as I knew them.
     We will always have them in memory and we can always look forward to talking and hearing stories about their strength and their life. My family is growing and hopefully will continue to grow. I will always pass down the stories of generations past and our families strength to our daughter. If you keep your memories at the forefront and teach your kids about their heritage and their families past you can help them to know their relatives that have passed. I hope everyone that reads this keeps their families past a teaching tool for their children and let the history of each of your families be a building block for your future.
 

Smoking Babies, Death and Kidnap Questionable Children's Movies from Then and Now

I have been pulling out some of the older movies from my childhood and watching them with my daughter. As we watch them I have noticed more and more that these movies are not really suited for children. Their filled with kidnap, death, things under the bed, smoking infants and just plain weird and scary. Now the list has no order but the older movies first and following up till now.

     1-> Little Monsters- I pulled out this gem and we watched it and let me tell you I had forgot all the weird and scary monsters that were in it. It freaked my daughter out and asked a friend at work about this movie and he said it scared him so bad that he jumped from the door frame at the door to his room all the way to his bed before he went to bed. This was to avoid the monsters that were going to grab him by the legs and drag him under. Kinda like Fred Savage but scarier and more traumatizing to a child.

     2-> Bambi- I went to see this in theaters and let me tell you it was hard to see at the very start of the movie his mother gets killed. I went home and hugged my mom for at least a few hours. If you are old enough to know whats going on this movie is like a punch to the stomach.

     3-> Dumbo-  Now I can tell you this movie has a lot of flaws. One they incarcerate the mother and they play that baby be mine song and to this day I lose it and at the very least shed a tear or two and want a mom hug. Also the crows are very raciest and do not help the fact that there are faceless men singing about not learning to read or write. This is a classic but needs an update to be more modern. I know that is not possible but it would help with the future questions from my daughter. LOL.

     4-> Who Framed Roger Rabbit- I love this movie now even more than when I was a child. Although it is an awesome movie in my opinion it has a few sketchy moments like a smoking baby who cries when he loses his stogie. Not the best message to send to children and then there is the death of Doc and if you know who I am talking about when I say Doc your an 80's baby for sure. When he falls into the dip it really is a gross death and I feel to graphic for a child.

     5&6-> Old Yeller & Where the Red Fern Grows- Both movies are quality family movies but both have a major drawback. In both movies the dogs that you grow to love and want to have yourself die and it is just heartbreaking. I mean considering that old yeller gets put down by his owner and best friend Arliss. Where the red fern grows is no better the name of the story is the plants that grows on the dogs graves. I mean really why all the dog death Disney.
     7-> The Labyrinth- Watching this movie now I can see David Bowie not the best villan. Not scary and just plain weird. He steals a baby boy Jennifer Connelly's baby brother and holds him hostage and unless she finds her way through the labyrinth in time and defeat him David Bowie plans to turn him into a monster. It really is just a very strange movie.
     8-> The Witches- My wife likes this movie and I just think it is weird. I can not get past the main witch character in which form. I mean wow as a child I think this would be something to fear and as far as I can tell from the movie they eat kids or something. Not a very good kids movie although it has good values like be confident and don't talk to strangers things like that it still creeps me out.

     9-> The Lion King- I don't need to say it but in the first five minutes Simba's dad Mufasa gets trampled buy a stamped after being dropped by Scar, Mufasa's brother. Then after finding out Simba is still alive Scar sends a hit squad after him. Well it's not quiet that blunt but you know whats going on.

     10-> Any Spongebob Movie Ever- The erotic undertones homosexual in nature or not are not needed in any children's movies. I have noticed that newer kids movies try to make it so that adults get a kick out of it to so they hide little sexual undertones or sayings or they try to make the main characters get into more adult situations. I know when I go to see a kids movie that I am going to see a kids movie and it is not supposed to have adult humor hidden in it to keep a parent entertained. I believe that good family values and strong educational aspects are more important than hidden messages that will make me laugh but later on when my child repeats it to me or another adult its not so funny and your trying to think of another word or saying that rhymes with it so you can try to play it off.
     I like all movies and have watched the most recent of the Spongebob movies myself and I think it is funny. I just am starting to think twice about what my daughter watches due to the fact that she now repeats everything she hears and will try to sound out every word as well. I have a tendency to use questionable language sometimes but I have been trying to use it less and less especially around my daughter. She is like learning so fast and I want her to grow up watching movies with better values than I did. I think it will help her grow up more well rounded. I will still watch the funny movies with her but I will be more aware of what she is watching and the values she is learning. Thanks for reading and have a great day. 

Unavoidable Mom and Dad Fights that Don't need to happen.

When you are a new parent you seem to have an unending list of new questions and none of them have answers. All of these worries can make both parents a little edgy and create friction that builds until a fight is inevitable. In the infant stages there have been three fights that happen more than any other in my own experience and my wife and I finally found a system that worked for us. Working together we can avoid these little fights that lead to bigger arguments and sometimes the silent treatment on both sides until you figure out your fighting about nothing.
I spoke about this lightly in an earlier post but I didn't get into how to avoid the fights and how to get out of the fight if you let yourselves slip into one. The first of these fights is a more common one its the oldest one I think as well and that is the "I woke up last time." fight. This seems at the time like not that big a deal but trust me it is. Even if nothing is said about at the time it is still lingering and waiting to pop. If it doesn't wait it will just blow up on you right then. This is from my point of view nothing to fight about. It does not matter who got up last time you as new parents are a team and have to share the load of parenthood and all the responsibilities that comes with it. I thought this a few times after we came home from the hospital and quickly realized that she had been carrying our baby for nine months and maybe that little bit of extra time I am up is not that big a deal. Now after a while that might start to slip out of sight and you may end up in this vary argument. To avoid this fight make a schedule with your partner and make sure you both agree on it that way you know either your on duty or your partner is on duty. So don't make a fuss when the baby needs a midnight bottle. If your both working parents like my wife and I then you need to work together at all times. Although this fight is very common it leads to the next fight which is who got more sleep.
I can remember when my daughter turned 8 months old she finally started to sleep through the night some. It seemed more frequent with my wife more so than myself. After looking at the situation I figured out I am fun dad and it is very hard for me to put her to sleep because we always play and I think that is what she expects from me at all times. I had to break that at night time by calming it down around 8pm or so and switching from running around and playing to coloring and reading. Even then it was still hard to get her to go to bed for the both of us. This caused a lack of sleep and made us both irritable. This led to the you do it you had more sleep fight. It can come in many forms it does not even have to be about the baby. We had to work on this as well because we worked to completely different shifts and we were never home at the same time. I get off of work at 6am and get home at 7am and sleep for a few hours and i am up so she can sleep before she has to go to work. Also when she and I sleep during the day before work the other is left all day long with our daughter. We just work together on everything and that is really the only way to do it. Now the being left alone all day with our daughter caused another little fight that led back to the others. The infamous " I changed the last diaper it is your turn or I been changing diapers all day I do not care you have to work tonight just change the diaper."

I said this leads back to other fights and this is why, I changed the last diaper , even though you got more sleep and I got up with the baby all night. That leads to other bigger fights, it is really a gateway fight LOL. If you think about this one it is a quick fix and not even worth the effort to fight about. How long does a diaper take to change like 3 minutes. Just do it and move on. LOL. I can't tell you how many times I and my wife changed diapers and if your a parent you know there are a lot of diapers to change. So the moral of this post is to try to help new parents avoid these small fights and maybe help the more experienced parents get a laugh or two at the memories. Having a baby is the most magical and exciting thing that has ever happened to me. I hope it is for you as well. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Daughters Dressed by Dads

         I have recently been clued in to the fact I do not know how to properly dress my little girl. As a guy I do not have a lot of practice in this area and have been playing it by ear most of the time. I have also noticed on many occasions  I leave her with my wife and when I get back she is changed into something else entirely. Every time there is some sort of excuse why she needed to be changed like she spilled something on it or her diaper leaked through. I did a little investigation into this one day and found what I had bought her and dressed her in that day was fine but it had been stuffed into the back of the closet. I had never made a big deal of it till I found what I had bought her stuffed into the back where no one could find it. I started to look through the closet and noticed that a lot of her baby clothes all the way up till now still had tags on it and all most all of it was stuff I bought her.
         I decided that it was time to confront my wife and see what was going on. When I asked her what the deal was she said I have no taste in clothes for girls or sometimes even myself. I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy but I never thought that the clothes and most of all the dresses I was putting my daughter in were ugly. My wife then pulled out her phone and showed me some of the things I had put her in over the last year

and seven months and I have to say if you put my clothes side by side with things my wife and mother in law picked out there is a huge difference. Not only in the styles we have but on how girly the outfits were over time. Since my daughter was a baby we have been putting her in dresses and more formal clothing to go out but as time went on I noticed she looked a little uncomfortable in the elaborate dresses and constricting formal dresses. My wife and mother in law are all about the dresses. OMG can't tell you how many dresses she has. Now we have summer dresses and I just don't want to get into it but I noticed the stress my daughter was feeling from the formal wear. She would get sick of sitting much quicker in the car seat back and forth from places along with other stuff. Although I had a good argument I still saw the point my wife was making. She had photos of my clothes and she also had stuff she dressed her in and I have to say I had a lot of learning to do. I always think I am putting her in something cute or stylish but I can see now that a bearded dad that wears t-shirts and jeans all the time is not a very good authority on how to dress a baby girl. I have been trying to do it differently lately doing the dress thing and not dressing her in MLP t-shirts and NIKE shorts and jogging pants. Also any dad with a daughter knows MLP I will just say it My Little Pony. I am getting better at getting her ready to go out and buying her clothes and my wife is getting better at not throwing away my clothes. If you are a dad and have a daughter you have most likely had this conversation with your wife or at the very least she has said something to you about what you dress your daughter in. Just remember there are a few simple rules if you are a jeans t-shirt guy.
      Rules are as follows:
1> Walk away from anything with a print of a very big animal like a shirt with a huge cat with sun glasses on holding an ice cream.
2> Nothing with any glitter or loads of bedazzled. I will tell you from first hand experience glitter is a no no. It will fall off every time and get on everything all the time. ALL THE TIME.
3> Anything that makes noise or plays music. Trust me it gets old quick and will get on random peoples nerves which is funny but adversely it will also get on your nerves.
4> Avoid shoes called squeakers they are very cute but you will spend $23 dollars and you will have her wear them once. Its cute for ten minutes but after that your looking for the way to take out the squeaker.
5> You can't dress her in long sleeves all the time same goes for t-shirts. If your like me you find something she likes and you buy a lot of them so she is always comfortable. T-shirts have their place but it is not everyday.
6> Don't buy anything that looks like a cut up table cloth or blinds. It may look great in the store but on a picnic not so much. LOL
7> Try not to get into a habit of buying things to big because she can grow into them because nine out of ten times you will forget she has it or she will outgrow it by the time of season she can wear it again. I was bad about this.
8> Shoes that tie. Almost all children want to untie strings or play with strings. So shoes that tie are just going to be a toy.
9> Jeans! Jeans on a child under 2 are very constricting and make it hard for them to play and run around. My daughter has a hard time running and playing when I put her in jeans. She can't climb or jump on her trampoline.
10> And the last of the important ones for me is " If I think it looks nice, I better think twice.". LOL. I put thought into what i dress her in a lot more than I used to. It helps with how many times she changes or gets changed by my wife.
                 I hope this helps and you get a few laughs at my expense. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

10 Things to Avoid when Your a Dad

10 > Avoid talking to people who don't have kids about problems with your kids. They don't have kids and might not know exactly how to answer. It is comical sometimes just to ask them and listen to the answers though.

9 > Listen to your parents! They know a little something about raising kids because your reading this right now.

8 > Don't freak out over every cough or sneeze. Chances are your child is not sick or getting sick it may have just been a sneeze or something in their throat.

7 > Just know you will have to give up some of your hobbies until your child is old enough to do your hobby with you or you can get a new hobby you can do together.

6 > Make time for family. You always need to have time as a family so make time to be together. Family time is priceless and brings your family closer.

5 > Be aware of how you dress your child. sometimes boots and sweet pants and a t-shirt are not acceptable.

4 > Make sure you don't undermine your wife or husband. You need to have each others backs to keep your bond strong.

3 > Don't let the romance die. Have a date night and let your spouse know your there and you still have a fire in your heart for them. This will also help your bond as parents.

2 > Don't just stick your child in front of the TV. You need to spend time with them and play outside and just talking to them will get them thinking. Plopping them in front of the TV just puts them into auto pilot and doesn't make them think.

1 > The number 1 thing to avoid is doubting yourself. I had a rough time getting over this. I used to second guess everything I did and that makes it hard to form opinions sometimes on how to do things.

      As a new dad or mom you can always count on your mom to have a place to start from. Just trust yourself and your family and it will always work out. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

*BBD* The Brotherhood of Bearded Dads

I have people tell me all the tw cut your beard you will look younger or thinner. Truth is I'm not so young anymore and Iam balding to prove it. Also I know I am for lack of better words just plain fat and that's ok. I have always been a work in progress as I think most of us are. The thing I hear the most is do you want your daughter growing up with a dad with an ugly bushy beard. Now I really take offense to that because I really like my beard. I have had at least some sort of facial hair since high school. I have never understood why my beard affects people so adversely. I get you look like a hoodlum or biker. I even get people telling me my beard makes me look homeless. I call that up to my style though. Not everyone can pull off a t-shirt full of holes and sweet pants. My point is my beard should not even matter to you and my daughter loves it. She gets snug in it when I hold her and she can go to sleep on it. I know that a lot of our founding fathers had beards and no one told them to shave. I am going to start a new blog just for guys with beards and I hope to see some of my readers join up. The Brotherhood of Bearded Dads will be a place for guys to talk about guy stuff and the bigger the beard the better. So join me in steadfast commitment to not shave ever again. No shave November is now no shave ever.

Kid with a Camera!

 These pictures gave me an idea. I give my daughter my phone and let her play with it and I always end up with about 30 or 40 extra photos in my gallery. I got the idea for this project from looking through these photos and noticing some of these pictures are good and not all of them are selfies. There are some landscapes and other pictures of dogs and flowers and just random people. So I am going to buy a camera and get a cheap go pro camera and hook my little girl up with some tech gear and then after a month I am going to put together a site of photos that my 1and half year old took.

 In the process I would like to invite all of my readers and fellow bloggers mommy and daddy alike to contribute their own photos one of yourself and your son or daughter and then the random photos they take throughout the day. Send them to me in an email and I will be gathering them through the coming month and at the end of June I am going to put out a special page of Kid with a Camera photos and everyone who contributes to the project can pick a special cover picture to showcase their child and his or her photos. I think our children have a keen eye and that will shine through in this project. Also any contributers will get a big YouTube thank you from my daughter and myself. Thanks for reading and start sending in those awesomely random kid taken photos. My personal email is mli.13.ia@Gmail.com.

OMG So Much Puke

So I have been riding all day doing errands in the car with me daughter and forgot to take her tv out because she gets car sick from looking at books and watching tv in the car. I guess it's the focusing on the book or tv while things in the window beside her are flying by and the car is swaying from side to side. Either way she got sick bad and then she was fine but OMG I had forgotten how much she could puke. I had been giving her car sick tablets and taking out the tv from the car. I looked at her today after about an hour and a half or so and she looked a little uncomfortable but still ok. Then around a minute later she was whining and then a projectile vomit that rivaled the exorcism came out of her and it lasted what seemed like forever. After that she was fine. But it had been so long since she had gotten sick like that and I freaked out whipped into a parking lot and jumped out and ran to her aid. She didn't need it though, she puked and she was fine.
    Back to the reason I posted this, what helped my daughter is to take the children's motion sickness meds before long trips so she can watch the tv and be entertained, but for short trips we take the tv out so she can look out the window and that seems to help her a lot. If the has the tv she vomits every time. If you do something different then that let me know. Hopefully this helps you if your child gets car sick. Sorry it's not that many tips but she got over it pretty easily.

•   I can give you tips however on getting the vomit out of the car and car seat. I like the Tide brand laundry detergent just because it gets the seata cover and clothes clean and good smelling. To get my car seat and floor board clean I take a towl with a little Shout and water for the floor boards and mats. Then I use Dawn dish soap to clean the seat fabric. Then I leave the Windows open for a few hours to vent the vomit smell and should be good to go.

That Dad Face

I wanted to post these up because both are faces dads make when they hold their baby for the first time. It's a face of love but at the same time terror. It's like someone handing you a fragile porcelain doll that pees and poos. I was so worried that I would break her because I am a big guy and she was so small . I automatically loved her and couldn't believe she is so beautiful. I still at that moment had a flurry of fear and excitement but most of all I know as parents we all felt it OMG it's real now. We all read the books and watch the YouTube videos on parenting but nothing can prepare you for that first sound your baby makes. You hear the heartbeat and see the black and white pictures from the sonogram but when it's real and your child is now with you in your arms you or I went mind blank. The books and everything don't tell you that you might pass out if you don't breath seems like common sense but you would be surprised to find out it's true. I hope it was the same for you as it was for me. Those feelings are an eye opener to let you know UMM I really wasn't ready. As time goes on it gets easier and you figure out you won't break your child and not everything is super dangerous. I had a bad habbit of moving everything away from the edges of counters and putting rubber bumpers on edges even though she was just a week old. The first picture is just me and my daughter clowning around. Moral is you will be scared on the day your child arrives in the world but it will be ok. Just be attentive and love your child and it will work itself out. Trust me you will learn so much in that first year it is ridiculous. Have fun with your kids and play when you can and thanks for reading. Have a great day.

Step up for Step Parents

Tonight at work I had a fellow employee and parent tell me he liked my post about mothers day and thanked me for mentioning step parents. I told him just because you are a step parent doesn't make you any less of a parent. Then he told me he was a step parent to three boys and felt like he was struggling to make that parental connection. He asked me how long it took for me to start to think of my step mom as a mom. I told him every situation is different and no two kids are the same. I may have thought of her like a mom after a year and his boys may take longer. I think it depends on the age of the child a lot and also how it ended with the parents.
   If the child is younger than two or three you will probably have an easier time forming that parental bond due to the fact they are still developing emotionally and if you show them attention and try to form that bond it is more accepted by the child because you are loving and caring. They will respond quicker because everything is new and easier to deal with.
   If the child is older four or five it tends to be harder because you can't take daddy's or mommy's place. If you let the child know you would never try to replace their parent but you would like to be there for them as a friend normally that is more accepted and easier to deal with as a child.
   Ten to teens well that's a hard fought battle because it's always harder when the bonds are already formed and you are trying to let the child know your there for them. Just give it time and keep trying just care and be there.
  It also depends on the way the child's parents split up. If it was on good terms it might be easier to approach than a situation that ended with fights and harsh words. Here is where age plays a factor as well. If the child is younger they might be more receptive to a kind and gentle approach. Just like I said earlier just care and be there. If the child is older they could have a wall up emotionally so they won't get hurt or feel like they are being left. It is a hard job to be a step parent but it is very needed in a family dynamic. A step parent that steps up is not a step back they are a step in the right direction and remember give it time and keep trying. You will make it. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Mothers Day

I just wanted to post something about mothers today seeing as it's mothers day. I wanted to thank all mothers for giving us the love and friendship we needed as kids and also the discipline we deserved when we were bad. My mom was always there for me good or bad and always had a mom hug that could solve everything. She loved me through bad girlfriends that stole from her and she never gave me any punishment or talking to I didn't deserve. My mother and I have a bond stronger than life even though I am adopted. I have her a kidney when I was 19 and I would do it again at 31. She has always been my rock in troubled times and a kind word when I am down.She didn't turn her back on me when I was going through heck with me ex and now she is there for my daughter and wife just like she was for me. I will always love you mom even when I haven't talked to you in a few days because of work and I haven't seen you in a week because I work nights remember I LOVE YOU MOMMY. Not afraid to call you that even at 31 years of age because you will always be my mom and most of all my friend.
   On the same token my wife is a great woman a great mother and a great friend. I may not always say it but she is my best friend and my soulmate. I could not imagine life without her in my life. She has stuck by me through thick and thin and always loved my parents as if they were her own. Believe me at times she could have left me and no one would blame her but she loves me even with my faults. She is the best mother to our daughter and I could not have hoped for a better mother and friend for our child. She is the glue of our household and she is a strong and positive role model for our daughter. My wife and I may not always agree on everything but I can tell you one thing next to my own mother, my wife is everything my mother is to me for our daughter loving, understanding, helpful, and most of all a great woman to look up to. So thank you to my mother and wife for being there for me and my daughter.
  My mother-in-law is another strong woman to look up to and I need to thank her as well. She took me into her family and made me feel at home the first time she met me. She is always letting me know we are family and she will stand by me and my wife no matter what. She is a positive person I am glad she is around my daughter and couldn't ask for a better caregiver and advisor. When my wife is at work and it's 3 am and I couldn't get my daughter to sleep she was there to lend a helping hand and teach me what she knows. Also she is always there when you need her and never lets you down in a pinch.

I can't forget Step Moms now. They have to step up and take care of a child that isn't even there's like it's their own and my step mother did that. She raised me like I was her own and loved me even though she didn't have to. She was there to help me with school and I'd I needed someone to help me with typing well she was there to teach and pass down knowledge. I know there are many diffenet types of mothers out there and a step mother is no different. They have just as much responsibility as a biological mother does but with theadded pressure of forming a bond with that new child and my step mother did it with ease. So to all the mothers in mine and everyone's families Happy Mothers Day and we love you!

The UFO Parent

In my first year of parenthood I became very aware of a problem I myself have at times. I call it UFO parenting and that is basically a style of parenting that uses a tractor beam style overwatch that never lets your child go near anything you consider unhealthy or dangerous . I was and at times still am bad about keeping to tight a grip on what my daughter is doing and that stops her from experiencing new things or going to the third level on the playground. This is not always the best approach to parenting even though it makes you feel better. Sometimes if your child isn't allowed to express themselves it can stunt their emotional growth and make them depend on you for even the smallest interaction. I know this is good in most cases but as your child grows older if you the parent are stuck in the UFO cycle it gets hard to break and can cause a rift between you and your child. I am the worst with my daughter when it comes to letting her play like she wants to play just because I think she can't do it. Because it is unsafe to me doesn't really make it unsafe to do. Like the third level at the playground not really unsafe but to me a giant unsafe platform she can fall off of. In my mind I need to hover over her to make sure she does not go to that level but when I am at work and my wife takes her to the playground there is a video of her sliding down the slide from the third level and waving from the catwalk on the third level. So my child can play at the third level and be fine I just have to break the block in my mind that says don't let her because something might happen. By the way something might happen everyday but we can't let that as parents stunt our child's experiences and their growth. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Pull the Pacifier

I don't know if anyone was wandering how to break the pacifier cycle but I have few tips to help you out. The first thing I did was start to just stop bringing it with us on outings. Well I had it in my pocket where she couldn't see it and it was a last resort if I really needed it. Most of the time I could sing the bad mood away or bounce her on my knee. In extreme cases I would pull out the lollipops and by the time she was done with it she forgotten about wanting the pacifier. She would want it if she saw another child with a pacifier and the only way to combat that is to try to get her attention drawn to something else. Another way to pull the pacifier is to try a teething ring or a teething necklace. We got a teething necklace that worked well if I was holding her. Also we worked the snack angle pretty hard. The snacks worked very well on outings and in the car not so much at home. At home the teething necklace worked great and the second best pacifier distraction was just a lot of playing and running around. Activities that get your child breathing fast reduces the chance they will want a

pacifier because their having fun. Really it just helps to get past teething and the teething tablets help relieve the pain that your child might be feeling. If that doesn't work ice chips helps numb the gums. Hopefully this helps you. Thanks for reading.

Naptime No No

 So it's time to put your baby down for a nap what do you avoid and what works for me to get my daughter to get to sleep and stay asleep. In the beginning I tried to stay with her untill she fell asleep and that later caused her to want someone in her room with her every time she went to sleep. I know it's hard not to hang around untill your child is asleep but trust me it took about a month of crying to break that habbit once started. I noticed she remembered when she was sick and threw up in the bed I came in there and got her and stayed with her or rocked her back to sleep and normally stayed because I was worried she would be sick again. She I guess thought for a while if she made herself throw up that would bring a parent back into the room to stay with her. So for a while she would try to throw up. It was hard to break her of that we had to revert back to a pacifier to stop her from sticking her finger down her throat to make herself sick. I also got stuck for a while with the one more time while reading a book before bedtime. I would read a book to her thirty times. Also it helps not to give a child anything with caffeine or a lot of sugar because it will keep them up longer and as any parent knows the more sleepy they are they longer it takes to get them to sleep because they fight it so hard.
I will tell you what works for me and that might help you. Before bedtime I stop any juice or product that contains sugar about four hours before bedtime to make sure it's out of her system. I also take her outside to run around for an hour or two to burn off excess energy. I try to get her to go to sleep about the same time every night it builds a body clock that will help her want to sleep at a certain time. I try to avoid putting her to bed at different times due to my experiences beforehand with her. It was like some nights she would be tired at 8pm and other nights she wouldn't get sleepy untill 11pm. I read her a book in the family room so I don't get stuck with the one more time in her room. Also I make sure after I read the book that their are no more books she can grab in the immediate area. So we have a clean up right before story time. While reading the book I fix her a fourth of a cup of milk to drink while reading to get her ready to sleep. As soon as I finish reading I put the book up and we both walk upstairs together but I already have a full milk ready for bedtime so we head straight to her room no sidetracking. Diaper change and a night night kiss on the head put her in the bed and hand her the milk and put a pacifier on the pillow next to her and make sure the monitor is on and leave the room. It normally works if I followed it right but every child is different and also will inevitably have a bad night every once in a while. Also I make sure not to give her any solid foods to late as that breakdown of the food can cause excess energy and a the possibility of a night poop which is never good and will almost always cause a wake-up. Hopefully this helps some of the parents that read it with their night time problems. Take it from me it takes a while to get a sleep pattern going and even then it takes a while to get it to stick with children. Just work at it and stick with your sleep regiment and eventually it will get better. Have a great day and thanks for reading.

Whats the worst?

That's the second part of the question asked to me by my soon to be fellow parent. I first had to think on the question and how it was worded. He said "Whats the worst part of being a parent.". As all parents know parenting has no real worst part it's just the difficult parts that trip us up as parents. It also depends on the age of your child. I know because my daughter is one and a half that the difficulties we face as parents now will change over time. So it takes getting over one or more hurdles just to get to another hurdle. Also it could be a hurdle not even dealing with your child like the amount of family time you and your spouse have together or even money problems that challenge your relationship. Any number and every number of things change when you have a child it is really a matter of how you overcome those changes that molds who you are and what kind of parent you will become. At times even the most trivial thing can seem like a reason for disagreement in your household. That can be from lack of sleep in infant stage or when your child starts walking and things get missing and leave no trace. Overall it's not just one thing you will have to face as a parent and then you get breathing room. It's not like a new job where you learn the ins and outs and then you can set yourself on autopilot untill your shift is up. Parenthood is an ever changing stream of questions and at some times no apparent answers. On the question at hand I would have to say the most difficult thing for me to overcome was the fear and asking myself every time I
was doing something "Am I doing this right?". I was adopted and knew asking questions was a good thing but as a new parent you tend to second guess a lot. You know they say well in my day we used this and did it this way but I tend to think that doesn't sound safe but I guess it was ok because I am alive and still walking around. Lol. I started learning to take the advice and make it my own and that really helped because a lot of the time a new parent doesn't really know where to start. I would have to say self doubts in the beginning was a big factor. I hope this clears up some stuff if your reading and have the same worries. Just remember if it works for others it won't always work that exact way for you but it's a good place to start. Thanks for reading.

Questions.

I was asked a few questions by friend who just found out they were going to have a baby. He is worried and just wandering why I wanted to be a parent because ours was planned and his was not. I told him to give me some time and I would get back to him. Well we gave being parents lots of thought and planned for months. I personally wanted to give all the love and friendship my family gave me to a new life. We knew that we were ready and we both could not wait. We both got excited when we saw families and knew we wanted a family of our own. I started painting and putting stickers everywhere and buying clothes and dresses and toys. That by no means makes you ready to be a parent. LOL. Bottom line we knew we were ready to be parents but did not have the knowledge we thought we had. All the books in the world can't prepare you for having a child. Personally I can say I wanted a child because I wanted our family to grow. Also we were stable in our jobs and felt we could now grow our family without stressing out over money all the time. Now to the second part of the post I will write it tomorrow after I make sure I answered the question to my best. Thanks for reading the first half and there is more to follow. Have a great day.

One More Time

Even though my daughter can't put sentences together I still know what she means when she has me read a book and then when I put it back she hands it right back to me. Just one more time is what I consider her way of either staying up at bedtime or wanting more time with us. Either way I enjoy it it lets me know I am doing something right, or she's not tired yet lol. You can try to get out of the one more time but most of the time you are met with an unhappy baby or sometimes tears. Your child can use this as a tool against you if you don't know how to counter it. Normally it is easy just stay steady and let you child know that was the last time. I know it can be hard but if you stick to it they will learn the last time is the last time. In my case I don't mind one more time it's just a little more time I get to spend with my daughter and I know that's how it is normally for every parent. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Positive Reinforcement

So the focus of today's post is positive reinforcement and why I feel it helps in the growth of a healthy child. I was at the store with my daughter and I heard a mom calling her daughter stupid and her daughter looked hurt. I would never call my child stupid or any other name for that matter. I can only imagine what a child must feel like when ridiculed by their parents. I always give confidence building encouragement to my daughter. We as parents need to think before we speek around our children and away from our children. That is the first step in the process of forming a great parent child relationship. If you think and speak positive you get back positive results from your kids. Negativity breeds negativity is what my parents taught me and I can see it in family's when we are out. If my daughter brings me something I say thank you your so helpful and a lot of hugs. She knows she has done something good and it doesn't take long for her to start bringing me everything in the house because she likes the praise. Even young children know the difference of positive feedback and negative feedback. Our children are inherently good and always learning so the more positive reinforcement they get the more upbeat they are at least in my case and hopefully in yours as well. I hope this helps and next time your child brings you something just say thanks and give some feedback at the very least your child will bring every toy in the house to you wanting the same result so give it to them it cost nothing but pays off in the long run. Positive breeds positive and thanks for reading.

Its My Potty and I'll Cry If i Want To

Potty Training is hard work and some children get it faster than others. My daughter is one of the other end of the spectrum and it's taking a while. We bought the Disney potty that claps and says yay after a potty but all she seems to do is dismantle it and use it to get on top of things. We are going at her pace though and hopefully it will click soon. For now we are trying the pull ups and letting her go diaper free which can cause accidents but it's worth it in the long run. Just stick with whatever approach you take and be patient. Thanks for reading. Have a good day!

Blast from the Past

My father brought me some of my old clothes and pictures and that spurred some memories. I can remember when I was younger switching from house to house after they had divorced. It was not easy to get used to. I mean the Christmas holiday was nice lol but it still took some getting used to. With  my family now it's about together whenever possible. With us working different shifts its hard to do because the company I work for is not family friendly. Both of my parents made time together for the family like dinner and family nights. In today's society it is a hard job to find a company that cares about people and not just about production. We work hard to revive that past time family time but we need help from corporate America to do that. Untill that day comes try to bring back some of the past by eating together at a table not in the living room and play a board game together video games can wait for parent and child. Trying is the first step and the rest will fall into place. Thanks for reading. Have a great day.

Your on Baby Time Now

When we were pregnant and we had a few months left it was a blur of feelings. Some exciting some scary and some worried we would have trouble figuring it all out. As time grew closer to the due date we spent time up talking about what we were going to do in the delivery room and fixing up the baby's room . I can't tell you how many stickers I put up in her room trying to make it as pretty as possible. During all this planning time together gets a little lost with all the family and friends getting ready for the big day and prepping the house it's a lot of work. Remember to spend time together before the delivery and make it count. It doesn't need to be planned just be together and let each other know you are there for one another. Trust me both of you are at some point going to need hug and someone to tell you all will be ok. As a team parents are much stronger than one versus one. I am talking about the infamous I did it last time quote of course and that is very easy to fall into. Think ahead and ask yourself as a dad or mom does it matter who did it last and the answer is no . Your both there to help each other and not to take turns. Also a little extra help never hurt anyone. The baby's time is all the time but you can make time for each other to keep that strong bond. It's not hard to do in the beginning because the first few days normally both parents are off together but keep that mindset going. If one of you works during the day remember raising a baby is vary hard work and consumes most of your time. My household works the same way but with a twist I and my spouse work opposite shifts and at night for 12 hours. When one of us is off the other is at work so it is a little more one person show during the day everyday but we both help each other out as much as possible. That shows your spouse you are there to help no matter what. Remember to make time for each other as well. It's hard for us but the hour or so a day we are together is all about family. We take vacations together and spend time together whenever possible. If both parents spend time together with the baby things just seem to work out better. So alsways think about what's best for the family and love one another. It does get easier.

Hugs or Luvs

For all the new parents wandering what diaper is the best for their new baby I found Luca to be the best for our family. My daughter seems to move more freely in Luvs and it didn't leave a red mark on her thighs like the huggies did. For me it's a hands down luvs brand win. They cost a little more mid range when it comes to diapers but the quality is there for a mid range diaper. Also if any parents have any questions let me know in the comments section and I will try to help all I can. Thanks for reading.

Uphill Both Ways

I can remember sitting with my grandfather and him telling me Scooby Doo was dumb and when I was a kid we didn't have tv and I had to walk to school in the snow uphill both ways with no shoes. Well at the time I just thought man your school was in a terrible location. Now I realize it was because he had to work hard for everything he had. I am trying to break myself of the giving parent problem but it's hard. I give my daughter everything I can because I love her not because it was needed or earned. I know at one and a half there is not a whole lot you can do to earn stuff but she is really good at where's my nose and she understands Spanish and can speak a little thanks to my mother-in-law. Speaking from my childhood I was very fortunate and a little spoiled. I don't want my daughter to have to take as long as I did to realize not everything is going to be handed to you. I will have tobreak the habit but it is hard considering how much we love our kids and we want to give them everything we never had when we were kids. Also I have been spending more time playing outside with her and just kicking a ball around and she enjoys that more than the expensive bouncey house thing I bought her. The point is I want to end up like my grandparents and parents they work hard and sometimes worked hours that were unfavorable to family life. I had what I needed as a child and now I want to do the same for my family beceuse when you have your first child priorities change and you have to start walking uphill both ways just to make ends meet and have time with your family. Thanks for reading.

A little less conversation.

I went to the store the other day and was looking for a specific toy to buy for my daughter. I was looking for a hand puppet because she loves Elmo but but I didn't want her plopped in front of the tv for to long so I figured by a puppet she would love it and we could spend more time together as a family . As I looked around and couldn't find this relic of the past I decided to ask an associate of the store. She asked me why I was looking for a puppet and was I weird or something. I told her it was for my daughter and she said if you want to entertain your kid the movies are in the back. I was shocked at the way she handled that and told her some parents like to spend time with their kids and don't want to just sit them in front of a tv. This concept of family time isn't just reserved for dinner or sports it should be a family staple and our family spends time together not in front of the th whenever possible. Back to the story at hand though I finally found a puppet at the fifth store I went to. The big box stores didn't have it so a local mom and pop ran store had what I was looking for. All be it not Elmo but a cow my little girl loves it to life. The moral is the time you have is precious and not to be wasted by plopping your child in front of the tv. I know breaks are needed but your child needs you more. Spending time talking to your children also helps build verbal skills and people skills they can't learn in front of the tv. Just think next time their show comes on can I talk like the characters on the show and if so just have a conversation with them like elmo. Thanks for the read.

Dress for sucess!

My mom always told me dress for success and don't dress for the job you have today dress for the job you want tomorrow. If that is the case why are most of the children's clothing stores packed with dresses that are way to short and shorts that barely cover their behinds. I don't know who designs the kids clothing now but the.must not have a child of their own. I am speaking of course of little girls clothing because I have a daughter that is only one and a half but even baby to toddler clothing is not kosher for my taste. I am not a prude by any means but that is not right. The boys clothing on the other hand is a little different due to the fact that the tee shirt is a tee shirt and not a belly tank . It's all really relative to where you shop but that's just my take for now . Thanks for the read.