Step up for Step Parents

Tonight at work I had a fellow employee and parent tell me he liked my post about mothers day and thanked me for mentioning step parents. I told him just because you are a step parent doesn't make you any less of a parent. Then he told me he was a step parent to three boys and felt like he was struggling to make that parental connection. He asked me how long it took for me to start to think of my step mom as a mom. I told him every situation is different and no two kids are the same. I may have thought of her like a mom after a year and his boys may take longer. I think it depends on the age of the child a lot and also how it ended with the parents.
   If the child is younger than two or three you will probably have an easier time forming that parental bond due to the fact they are still developing emotionally and if you show them attention and try to form that bond it is more accepted by the child because you are loving and caring. They will respond quicker because everything is new and easier to deal with.
   If the child is older four or five it tends to be harder because you can't take daddy's or mommy's place. If you let the child know you would never try to replace their parent but you would like to be there for them as a friend normally that is more accepted and easier to deal with as a child.
   Ten to teens well that's a hard fought battle because it's always harder when the bonds are already formed and you are trying to let the child know your there for them. Just give it time and keep trying just care and be there.
  It also depends on the way the child's parents split up. If it was on good terms it might be easier to approach than a situation that ended with fights and harsh words. Here is where age plays a factor as well. If the child is younger they might be more receptive to a kind and gentle approach. Just like I said earlier just care and be there. If the child is older they could have a wall up emotionally so they won't get hurt or feel like they are being left. It is a hard job to be a step parent but it is very needed in a family dynamic. A step parent that steps up is not a step back they are a step in the right direction and remember give it time and keep trying. You will make it. Thanks for reading and have a great day.