It has been a while!

I haven't posted in over a year and I feel that it is time to start posting again. I recently found out we are having baby 2 and it's to early to tell if it will be a boy or girl but I do not care either way I will love him or her no matter what. I did leave my night shift job for a job that pays much lower but gives me the time home with my family but it's a little harder to make ends meet. Although tough we are managing to make it as a team but this new addition may be the reason I need to get another job or at least a part time second shift job. We live week to week like most of the people our age but we make it work and I hope to continue to do so without stressing out myself or my wife. Money is a big issue with every family and I know that comes between people at times. I am hopeful that we will be ok and everything will work out I have been at my job for about a year and it's time for a raise so there is hope. I am also interested to see how we take to not seeping again and going back to the beginning of it all. My wife and I are a united front with our baby girl and I think I am more of an influence than any other. I say that because she is a strong little girl and loves to be in the middle of everything, not shy and definitely not afraid to be outspoken. At almost 3 she has been great to raise.
Now it seems like starting over and it's still a little scary but no where near as scary as the first time round. I couldn't even sleep most nights because I was worried about absolutely everything. As time goes on you realize that a real cry is different from a fake cry and a scared cry is different from the I don't want to sleep cry. You learn and you grow with your child.
So I guess I will get to see how the other half lives, you know the 2 kids half. LOL. I will keep you up to date on all the goodies up till the big day.
Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Generations

I have been thinking about posting this for a while now and today is the day. I have not posted lately due to the fact I have been working a lot and not had the time. I would like to start off by saying that I love all of my family and I am sorry if I do not have a picture of you to add on my blog. I have a very extended family due to the fact I am adopted and my parents divorced when I was very little so that in itself created a big family. Then you add in the fact I am married now and have that family to include as well it creates a really big birthday list and also makes Christmas very hard to take in on one day because everyone wants to see my daughter. Posting this was a bit of a hard decision because of the way just my family situation is. I didn't want to offend or hurt feelings because I didn't add them but never the less here goes. My grandmother is very sick and I am very glad that she got the chance to meet my daughter even if only for a brief time. So many of my grandparents have passed on and did not get that chance but I still wish they would have.
     Just to save time no names but my father's mother would have loved to meet her she was a character I don't remember much about her. Although I do regret not reading a poem at her funeral that my dad wanted me to read. Now that I think back on that I see it was a mistake not to do that for my father and if I could do it over I would do it differently. I never met my father's father but I do not think that bothers my father because of their history.
     My mother's father is about the same situation I never met him but I don't think that bothers my mother much. I did however get to meet my mother's mother and she was a heavy smoker but had a big heart from what I could tell. She and I lived next to one another for a while in some smaller apartments and I got to know her a little better that way and she as I said had a big heart and loved her grand children.
     My step father's parents on the other hand I saw quite a bit. They loved me even though I was first of all adopted by my mother and then he just kinda picked me up like an extra in the relationship with my mother. His parents accepted me as their own and treated me like family always. Both have since passed away due to cancer and I know they would have loved my daughter and I wish they could have met her. All of my family from grandparents to great grandparents have been just the best and all of them have helped mold everyone around them to be better people. I wish so much that she could have met all of her great grandparents and got to know them as I knew them.
     We will always have them in memory and we can always look forward to talking and hearing stories about their strength and their life. My family is growing and hopefully will continue to grow. I will always pass down the stories of generations past and our families strength to our daughter. If you keep your memories at the forefront and teach your kids about their heritage and their families past you can help them to know their relatives that have passed. I hope everyone that reads this keeps their families past a teaching tool for their children and let the history of each of your families be a building block for your future.
 

Smoking Babies, Death and Kidnap Questionable Children's Movies from Then and Now

I have been pulling out some of the older movies from my childhood and watching them with my daughter. As we watch them I have noticed more and more that these movies are not really suited for children. Their filled with kidnap, death, things under the bed, smoking infants and just plain weird and scary. Now the list has no order but the older movies first and following up till now.

     1-> Little Monsters- I pulled out this gem and we watched it and let me tell you I had forgot all the weird and scary monsters that were in it. It freaked my daughter out and asked a friend at work about this movie and he said it scared him so bad that he jumped from the door frame at the door to his room all the way to his bed before he went to bed. This was to avoid the monsters that were going to grab him by the legs and drag him under. Kinda like Fred Savage but scarier and more traumatizing to a child.

     2-> Bambi- I went to see this in theaters and let me tell you it was hard to see at the very start of the movie his mother gets killed. I went home and hugged my mom for at least a few hours. If you are old enough to know whats going on this movie is like a punch to the stomach.

     3-> Dumbo-  Now I can tell you this movie has a lot of flaws. One they incarcerate the mother and they play that baby be mine song and to this day I lose it and at the very least shed a tear or two and want a mom hug. Also the crows are very raciest and do not help the fact that there are faceless men singing about not learning to read or write. This is a classic but needs an update to be more modern. I know that is not possible but it would help with the future questions from my daughter. LOL.

     4-> Who Framed Roger Rabbit- I love this movie now even more than when I was a child. Although it is an awesome movie in my opinion it has a few sketchy moments like a smoking baby who cries when he loses his stogie. Not the best message to send to children and then there is the death of Doc and if you know who I am talking about when I say Doc your an 80's baby for sure. When he falls into the dip it really is a gross death and I feel to graphic for a child.

     5&6-> Old Yeller & Where the Red Fern Grows- Both movies are quality family movies but both have a major drawback. In both movies the dogs that you grow to love and want to have yourself die and it is just heartbreaking. I mean considering that old yeller gets put down by his owner and best friend Arliss. Where the red fern grows is no better the name of the story is the plants that grows on the dogs graves. I mean really why all the dog death Disney.
     7-> The Labyrinth- Watching this movie now I can see David Bowie not the best villan. Not scary and just plain weird. He steals a baby boy Jennifer Connelly's baby brother and holds him hostage and unless she finds her way through the labyrinth in time and defeat him David Bowie plans to turn him into a monster. It really is just a very strange movie.
     8-> The Witches- My wife likes this movie and I just think it is weird. I can not get past the main witch character in which form. I mean wow as a child I think this would be something to fear and as far as I can tell from the movie they eat kids or something. Not a very good kids movie although it has good values like be confident and don't talk to strangers things like that it still creeps me out.

     9-> The Lion King- I don't need to say it but in the first five minutes Simba's dad Mufasa gets trampled buy a stamped after being dropped by Scar, Mufasa's brother. Then after finding out Simba is still alive Scar sends a hit squad after him. Well it's not quiet that blunt but you know whats going on.

     10-> Any Spongebob Movie Ever- The erotic undertones homosexual in nature or not are not needed in any children's movies. I have noticed that newer kids movies try to make it so that adults get a kick out of it to so they hide little sexual undertones or sayings or they try to make the main characters get into more adult situations. I know when I go to see a kids movie that I am going to see a kids movie and it is not supposed to have adult humor hidden in it to keep a parent entertained. I believe that good family values and strong educational aspects are more important than hidden messages that will make me laugh but later on when my child repeats it to me or another adult its not so funny and your trying to think of another word or saying that rhymes with it so you can try to play it off.
     I like all movies and have watched the most recent of the Spongebob movies myself and I think it is funny. I just am starting to think twice about what my daughter watches due to the fact that she now repeats everything she hears and will try to sound out every word as well. I have a tendency to use questionable language sometimes but I have been trying to use it less and less especially around my daughter. She is like learning so fast and I want her to grow up watching movies with better values than I did. I think it will help her grow up more well rounded. I will still watch the funny movies with her but I will be more aware of what she is watching and the values she is learning. Thanks for reading and have a great day. 

Unavoidable Mom and Dad Fights that Don't need to happen.

When you are a new parent you seem to have an unending list of new questions and none of them have answers. All of these worries can make both parents a little edgy and create friction that builds until a fight is inevitable. In the infant stages there have been three fights that happen more than any other in my own experience and my wife and I finally found a system that worked for us. Working together we can avoid these little fights that lead to bigger arguments and sometimes the silent treatment on both sides until you figure out your fighting about nothing.
I spoke about this lightly in an earlier post but I didn't get into how to avoid the fights and how to get out of the fight if you let yourselves slip into one. The first of these fights is a more common one its the oldest one I think as well and that is the "I woke up last time." fight. This seems at the time like not that big a deal but trust me it is. Even if nothing is said about at the time it is still lingering and waiting to pop. If it doesn't wait it will just blow up on you right then. This is from my point of view nothing to fight about. It does not matter who got up last time you as new parents are a team and have to share the load of parenthood and all the responsibilities that comes with it. I thought this a few times after we came home from the hospital and quickly realized that she had been carrying our baby for nine months and maybe that little bit of extra time I am up is not that big a deal. Now after a while that might start to slip out of sight and you may end up in this vary argument. To avoid this fight make a schedule with your partner and make sure you both agree on it that way you know either your on duty or your partner is on duty. So don't make a fuss when the baby needs a midnight bottle. If your both working parents like my wife and I then you need to work together at all times. Although this fight is very common it leads to the next fight which is who got more sleep.
I can remember when my daughter turned 8 months old she finally started to sleep through the night some. It seemed more frequent with my wife more so than myself. After looking at the situation I figured out I am fun dad and it is very hard for me to put her to sleep because we always play and I think that is what she expects from me at all times. I had to break that at night time by calming it down around 8pm or so and switching from running around and playing to coloring and reading. Even then it was still hard to get her to go to bed for the both of us. This caused a lack of sleep and made us both irritable. This led to the you do it you had more sleep fight. It can come in many forms it does not even have to be about the baby. We had to work on this as well because we worked to completely different shifts and we were never home at the same time. I get off of work at 6am and get home at 7am and sleep for a few hours and i am up so she can sleep before she has to go to work. Also when she and I sleep during the day before work the other is left all day long with our daughter. We just work together on everything and that is really the only way to do it. Now the being left alone all day with our daughter caused another little fight that led back to the others. The infamous " I changed the last diaper it is your turn or I been changing diapers all day I do not care you have to work tonight just change the diaper."

I said this leads back to other fights and this is why, I changed the last diaper , even though you got more sleep and I got up with the baby all night. That leads to other bigger fights, it is really a gateway fight LOL. If you think about this one it is a quick fix and not even worth the effort to fight about. How long does a diaper take to change like 3 minutes. Just do it and move on. LOL. I can't tell you how many times I and my wife changed diapers and if your a parent you know there are a lot of diapers to change. So the moral of this post is to try to help new parents avoid these small fights and maybe help the more experienced parents get a laugh or two at the memories. Having a baby is the most magical and exciting thing that has ever happened to me. I hope it is for you as well. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

Daughters Dressed by Dads

         I have recently been clued in to the fact I do not know how to properly dress my little girl. As a guy I do not have a lot of practice in this area and have been playing it by ear most of the time. I have also noticed on many occasions  I leave her with my wife and when I get back she is changed into something else entirely. Every time there is some sort of excuse why she needed to be changed like she spilled something on it or her diaper leaked through. I did a little investigation into this one day and found what I had bought her and dressed her in that day was fine but it had been stuffed into the back of the closet. I had never made a big deal of it till I found what I had bought her stuffed into the back where no one could find it. I started to look through the closet and noticed that a lot of her baby clothes all the way up till now still had tags on it and all most all of it was stuff I bought her.
         I decided that it was time to confront my wife and see what was going on. When I asked her what the deal was she said I have no taste in clothes for girls or sometimes even myself. I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy but I never thought that the clothes and most of all the dresses I was putting my daughter in were ugly. My wife then pulled out her phone and showed me some of the things I had put her in over the last year

and seven months and I have to say if you put my clothes side by side with things my wife and mother in law picked out there is a huge difference. Not only in the styles we have but on how girly the outfits were over time. Since my daughter was a baby we have been putting her in dresses and more formal clothing to go out but as time went on I noticed she looked a little uncomfortable in the elaborate dresses and constricting formal dresses. My wife and mother in law are all about the dresses. OMG can't tell you how many dresses she has. Now we have summer dresses and I just don't want to get into it but I noticed the stress my daughter was feeling from the formal wear. She would get sick of sitting much quicker in the car seat back and forth from places along with other stuff. Although I had a good argument I still saw the point my wife was making. She had photos of my clothes and she also had stuff she dressed her in and I have to say I had a lot of learning to do. I always think I am putting her in something cute or stylish but I can see now that a bearded dad that wears t-shirts and jeans all the time is not a very good authority on how to dress a baby girl. I have been trying to do it differently lately doing the dress thing and not dressing her in MLP t-shirts and NIKE shorts and jogging pants. Also any dad with a daughter knows MLP I will just say it My Little Pony. I am getting better at getting her ready to go out and buying her clothes and my wife is getting better at not throwing away my clothes. If you are a dad and have a daughter you have most likely had this conversation with your wife or at the very least she has said something to you about what you dress your daughter in. Just remember there are a few simple rules if you are a jeans t-shirt guy.
      Rules are as follows:
1> Walk away from anything with a print of a very big animal like a shirt with a huge cat with sun glasses on holding an ice cream.
2> Nothing with any glitter or loads of bedazzled. I will tell you from first hand experience glitter is a no no. It will fall off every time and get on everything all the time. ALL THE TIME.
3> Anything that makes noise or plays music. Trust me it gets old quick and will get on random peoples nerves which is funny but adversely it will also get on your nerves.
4> Avoid shoes called squeakers they are very cute but you will spend $23 dollars and you will have her wear them once. Its cute for ten minutes but after that your looking for the way to take out the squeaker.
5> You can't dress her in long sleeves all the time same goes for t-shirts. If your like me you find something she likes and you buy a lot of them so she is always comfortable. T-shirts have their place but it is not everyday.
6> Don't buy anything that looks like a cut up table cloth or blinds. It may look great in the store but on a picnic not so much. LOL
7> Try not to get into a habit of buying things to big because she can grow into them because nine out of ten times you will forget she has it or she will outgrow it by the time of season she can wear it again. I was bad about this.
8> Shoes that tie. Almost all children want to untie strings or play with strings. So shoes that tie are just going to be a toy.
9> Jeans! Jeans on a child under 2 are very constricting and make it hard for them to play and run around. My daughter has a hard time running and playing when I put her in jeans. She can't climb or jump on her trampoline.
10> And the last of the important ones for me is " If I think it looks nice, I better think twice.". LOL. I put thought into what i dress her in a lot more than I used to. It helps with how many times she changes or gets changed by my wife.
                 I hope this helps and you get a few laughs at my expense. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

10 Things to Avoid when Your a Dad

10 > Avoid talking to people who don't have kids about problems with your kids. They don't have kids and might not know exactly how to answer. It is comical sometimes just to ask them and listen to the answers though.

9 > Listen to your parents! They know a little something about raising kids because your reading this right now.

8 > Don't freak out over every cough or sneeze. Chances are your child is not sick or getting sick it may have just been a sneeze or something in their throat.

7 > Just know you will have to give up some of your hobbies until your child is old enough to do your hobby with you or you can get a new hobby you can do together.

6 > Make time for family. You always need to have time as a family so make time to be together. Family time is priceless and brings your family closer.

5 > Be aware of how you dress your child. sometimes boots and sweet pants and a t-shirt are not acceptable.

4 > Make sure you don't undermine your wife or husband. You need to have each others backs to keep your bond strong.

3 > Don't let the romance die. Have a date night and let your spouse know your there and you still have a fire in your heart for them. This will also help your bond as parents.

2 > Don't just stick your child in front of the TV. You need to spend time with them and play outside and just talking to them will get them thinking. Plopping them in front of the TV just puts them into auto pilot and doesn't make them think.

1 > The number 1 thing to avoid is doubting yourself. I had a rough time getting over this. I used to second guess everything I did and that makes it hard to form opinions sometimes on how to do things.

      As a new dad or mom you can always count on your mom to have a place to start from. Just trust yourself and your family and it will always work out. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

*BBD* The Brotherhood of Bearded Dads

I have people tell me all the tw cut your beard you will look younger or thinner. Truth is I'm not so young anymore and Iam balding to prove it. Also I know I am for lack of better words just plain fat and that's ok. I have always been a work in progress as I think most of us are. The thing I hear the most is do you want your daughter growing up with a dad with an ugly bushy beard. Now I really take offense to that because I really like my beard. I have had at least some sort of facial hair since high school. I have never understood why my beard affects people so adversely. I get you look like a hoodlum or biker. I even get people telling me my beard makes me look homeless. I call that up to my style though. Not everyone can pull off a t-shirt full of holes and sweet pants. My point is my beard should not even matter to you and my daughter loves it. She gets snug in it when I hold her and she can go to sleep on it. I know that a lot of our founding fathers had beards and no one told them to shave. I am going to start a new blog just for guys with beards and I hope to see some of my readers join up. The Brotherhood of Bearded Dads will be a place for guys to talk about guy stuff and the bigger the beard the better. So join me in steadfast commitment to not shave ever again. No shave November is now no shave ever.